


Not Anymore

by knightinpinkunderwear



Series: I told you that I don't have a soul [7]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Grieving, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide, i am soulless, suffer, that scene gave me some evil thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 23:03:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16820233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightinpinkunderwear/pseuds/knightinpinkunderwear
Summary: Ed doesn't want to hurt anyone else, not anymore.________________________________________________That scene in 4x14 with Ed and Riddler gave me evil thoughts.





	Not Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> If you have yet to read the tags be warned that I am soulless and like to create sad, sad things. They make me happy and give me a certain sadistic joy to inflict these feels on others.

_ “This is crazy!” _ The hallucination screamed from the doorway. Ed ignored it, continuing to ensure that the noose was secure. His cheek was wet. Oh no, he was crying. This wasn’t the time. Though, if this worked it was the only time he had left.  _ “It’s crazy!” _ the hallucination sounded rabid. 

“I know! But it's the only way to keep her safe!” his eyes were burning, riddler looked as scared as he felt.  _ Neither of them wanted to die _ . But he had to protect Lee. He’d already killed Kristen and through his inattention, he had killed Isabella, he couldn't let Lee die too. None of them deserved death. He'd been so foolish, thinking that he would get to have something almost normal, almost nice. For a second he had almost told her. Told her that he cared, that he was scared, that he couldn't trust himself. But then he’d seen her face. And he couldn’t do it. 

But she knew. So he excused himself and grabbed some rope. And here he was, securing his own noose. At least he could save Lee. They did say the third time's the charm. 

_ “Just listen to yourself! Dying isn't the answer!” _

“I have to do this!” 

_ “No, you don't! There's another way to keep Lee from dying! A way that doesn't mean killing yourself, killing us…” _ he knew what that would mean. Going back to Arkham. 

“I am not going back there!”

_ “You'd rather kill yourself!?” _

“I don't trust you! It has to be a trick! You'd never agree to go back there! Much less recommend it!”

_ “Just think about what you're doing! This is death we're talking about! There's no coming back from this!” _ It was strange, he'd never heard his reflection sound so scared before. Usually, he was the panicky one. That gave him a sense of calm. It would be over soon. His other self wouldn't hurt anyone, ever again. 

“Which means you can't hurt her.”

_ “Are you really going to die for her!?” _

“It’s not just about Lee. This is about Myrtle, this is about Kristen, this is about Oswald, it’s about  _ me _ . It’s about how tired I am of hurting the people around me!”

_ “Oswald killed Myrtle!” _

“And we could’ve done something about it!” He took a deep breath, so aware that it would be one of his last if this worked out as planned. “I'm not letting us hurt anyone else,” and that was it. It was easy to drown out riddler’s screams after that. A breath, he took a step down, then another, and another. 

The rope was almost taught, his throat was tight, Edward choked back a sob. His foot hovering over the precipice, well, the stair that he wouldn’t be able to reach. 

A tear fell, then so did he. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you at least enjoyed your suffering.


End file.
